I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
