Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
