I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
