If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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