Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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