So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
