Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
