stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
