We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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