I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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