24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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