I want to walk on stilts...naked
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize