Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
