i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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