I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she woke up with a sticky ear
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
