maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
