I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
