420 ftw
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
