Pants 0. Shit 1.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
