Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
