hotel room ftw
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
