i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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