It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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