New invention idea: vibrating tampons
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
