I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize