He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Duck Duck Cougar?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
