Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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