just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
