i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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