no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
