I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
