he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
