He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
