it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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