If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize