I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
