"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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