I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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