I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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