I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
