oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
