i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
