I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
