It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
