alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
