We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
