i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
