Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
