I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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