Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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