covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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