So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
