I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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