yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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