Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
