Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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