I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
