went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
