I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
