we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
